Red

I love to collect little swatches of fabric...certain that someday I'll make something wonderful with them.

I found these ones today online. It's not quite the same as the real thing. But...





...sometimes it just takes color and texture and print to make my heart race a little...

Rushing wind and Chopin...

...are serenading my ears as Maya sleeps in the next room.

Outside my window I see massive trees, brushed with yellow, bending in the wind...orange leaves swirling around, and swarms of thrill-seeking birds hovering and diving on the powerful currents.

My pumpkin spice candle has been burning all day...and the laundry is slowly getting cleaned and put away.

This is what I imagine, when I long to just *be* at home.

Somehow the combination of unstructured unhurried time with Maya and a few hours by myself, a tiny bit of productivity, music, and a gray fall sky seems therapeutic. And for a little while, I don't feel worried about the future, disappointed with my inadequacies, or sad about the brokenness and pain that usually seem to lurk everywhere. I feel hopeful and content. Grateful.

This is what I long for while I rush through my days, moving from one responsibility to the next. This kind of peaceful alone-ness...and also the laughter of Maya when she's being tickled, her happy singing, and her 101 requests for a another "sto-to" to be read. (Goodnight Gorilla has been the favorite this week.)

This...and waking up without an alarm, talking and laughing with Ryan, feeling no urgency to get out of bed and face the day.


A few more treasured moments from our fall...

we're missing these two today...

...and every day.

Love you JaeJae and Addy!

it's not just the sepia...

...she's really *that* beautiful and delightful and surprising and funny.

you won't believe...

...who finally posted on their blog again!

Squash Bisque

After a full day of teaching violin lessons (while playing with my Maya) at school, the perfect dinner was calling out to me on our counter. One large butternut squash just waiting to become...

...with some cinnamon, nutmeg, brown sugar & a swirl of condensed milk on top.

*And* there's more than enough left for lunch tomorrow too. I can't wait.

back in june...

...we added an "Uncle Sean" to our little Corbin family.






But then, we had to say goodbye to Aunt Kelly and Uncle Sean.


Until last weekend!!
Their happy return was celebrated with a feast of Moussaka...

a friday evening of cheese cake, whipped cream and warm Irish coffee,
A sunny but cold Saturday was spent in a warm(er) tent, with bread bowls of stew, hot apple cider, and delightful Irish music.


my favorite of the bands, Scythian, actually impressed us more with their gypsy and Jewish flavored fiddling than the true Irish stuff.

We had to say good-bye again, but Christmas isn't too far away.

Introducing...

...Maya's baby brother or sister.
Due to arrive April 7th, 2008.
Yes, that's the head on the right. And all the way to left, you can kind of see little legs!

I've been posting, they've just been hidden for a couple of months...
So, if you'd like to read more, go here. There all there now!

theoretically...

...I'm not so into these visitor counting things. It's not why I blog. It's been years since I even looked at a visitor counter.
But this one just looks so cool.
You can see the whole world!


Create your own visitor map!

Maybe, just maybe...we'll see a blue dot somewhere besides West Michigan.
So far, I think it's just me on the map :)

don't expect consistency here.

I guess I'm either entirely absent or an out-of-control-blogger.

But I've just not really been able to form coherent thoughts for a while.

At least not about anything I can openly 'converse' about here.

It seems that I'm always overwhelmed by how blessed I am...how eerily perfect my life continues to be...
...and then how full of complexity, disappointment, heaviness and sadness the world is...how painfully permanent and far-reaching the ripples of brokenness reach.

Worry is becoming a new virtue for me. I don't think it's always been such a natural gift, but lately I've been embracing it. Staying up at night trying to compose letters to people I love...people within my circle of worry, waking from bizarre dreams where I'm trying to solve the problems around me..trying to explain my action and inaction to different people...trying to bring reconciliation.

I'm considering the possibility that maybe worry isn't the answer here. It just seems to be a new and developing talent in my life.

our new house

This was our first day as new home-owners. Maya showed her approval by taking her longest walk ever...all the way across the house (before this day, she was pretty content with 5 or 6 steps). It isn't so empty any more (or so terribly sterile looking), but...she still loves to run around in it.
I'll post more updated pictures soon. It's starting to look a little more like 'us.'