Saturday, March 21, 2009

i haven't given up....

...but this blog is struggling these days, huh?

I keep checking back here to see if the author has posted anything new.



I haven't posted anything this month, but March has been fun.

Here are some un-edited, randomly blurted, tired ramblings about my life lately:

  • I've been cold, hopeful, and exhausted, and overwhelmed. And sometimes I've been surprisingly warm in the sun, refreshed, and content.
  • Went to Ohio. It was crazy fun. Maybe I'll post pictures someday.
  • I started running again. (well, I've gone twice now.)
  • I've been practicing...but not quite as much as I should be...(my teacher is in China for a few weeks).
  • Sophie is almost ONE!
  • My house seems to stay messy more often than I'd like. It's making me a little crazy.
  • But....the basement is organized. That was a miracle performed by my sister Katie...a surprise birthday gift for my sweet husband and me. Maybe I'll post a story about that sometime too.
  • Sophia puts everything in her mouth. Another post maybe.
  • I've turned into a bit of a 'NO' person. I LOVE to please people. To say 'YES'. It's an addiction for me. But my current state of crazy overcommitment has forced me into a new phase of my life, where I just say 'no' all kinds of great, fun, worthy, tempting activities. If I've coldly said 'no' to you recently....I'm sorry. Know that I hated saying the word. But trust me, if I hadn't been forthright and honest with you.....I would eventually disappoint you with my unavailability and lack of energy or enthusiasm.
  • I'm feeling tired just thinking about summer....longing for the warmth, the break from work, but dreading the 10 credits spent away from my home. The next restful (or even manageable) time of my life just seems to be too far away to even see in the distance.
  • So I'm trying to be here. Now. Not longing for the unattainable future that seems easier and more fun. Right now is fun. Right now is good. Right now is full of incredible joy (that I will soon look back on with longing). I know this is true....and most of the time this way of being fully present comes naturally. But often (more often in the last few weeks)...I have to keep reminding myself of the gift of 'now.'
  • Sophie is just too precious and affectionate to describe. She is silly and smart. She loves playing with her bouncy ball, bobbing her head up and down as she watches it bounce, squealing and laughing trying to catch it, chasing it all over her room as it rolls in front of her.
  • Tonight Maya and Sophie were resting their heads on each others' shoulders....putting their noses together, smiling and laughing...holding hands while riding in their new side-by-side double stroller/ bike trailer.
  • That's all I've got. I'm cold (the thermostat is set to drop when I should be in bed), and I'm tired.