Thursday, June 28, 2007

after eight hours in a windowless classroom...

...Maya got to tell me about all the fun places she'd been with 'daddy.'

I am so grateful to Ryan for supporting me so fully...for encouraging me to go back to school, for the financial sacrifices, for taking vacation time to bring Maya to East Lansing for the week, so that we could be together.

p.s.-I don't think you even know this blog exists, but thank you Randy and Jo for opening your home and your lives to us all week. You were far more generous than we deserve.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

where to begin..

...when it's been so long. I've often sat at the computer, opened a new post, and left it blank. I keep meaning to post. There have been lots of things to blog about.
But the longer I wait, the more daunting my task becomes.

This shouldn't be so much of a chore.

I like to think of it as a hobby. But you're not supposed to feel guilt for neglecting hobbies. Right?

So maybe my brothers are right. I just might not actually like blogging right now. I like looking back at posts I've written. I like reading friends' blogs. I even like thinking about future posts I intend to write. But somehow, I just don't do it.

So, as if you didn't already realize this (I'm writing this for myself. I'm aware that you are perceptive enough to understand this already. You know me well enough that you probably don't check here every day, disappointed that I STILL haven't posted anything new.) I have no expectations for this blog right now. No quotas, no guilt, no pressure.
In fact, I probably won't post much.
But I might.

And since I've already done this much work....

...I might as well just go ahead and ramble a bit...

I took a step this summer that makes me feel hopeful about my recurring BLAH disappointment, regret, insecurity...
I became a student again.
There is something about being a student that makes me realize that my inadequacies are not unique and not permanent. I am still learning, growing. I am not yet ready to stagnate, to wallow in self pity and allow the daily grind to steal my hope.
I spent a week on the stately campus of MSU, walking under old trees, reading and writing music on benches in quiet botanical gardens, singing and acting ridiculous with other music teachers, studying the way that children learn, discussing musical development and creativity, having rich conversations with new friends...and learning from people that inspire me.

And again, I felt deeply happy that this is my job.

This week, another (and I think better) kind of happiness is mine... hours and hours of uninterrupted time with my Maya. While Ryan attends 'Fundraising School' at Indiana University, we've been filling our days with wandering about the streets and canals of Indianapolis, resting and playing in our air conditioned hotel room, and napping...

...oh, and searching online for places to live.
We're 99% sure we've sold our house!

Thursday, June 07, 2007

finally, a new post... of maya over here.

More to come...

Friday, June 01, 2007

Just so I don't miss the whole month of May...'s a post.

Don't laugh at me. I'm not really obsessive compulsive about a lot of things. Well maybe I am more than I like to admit.

But it would just really bother me if my archives skipped a month. I mean, how terrible would that look over on the right side of my blog? "...March, April, June..."

So don't worry. May is safe now. One post for May. Probably the best writing you've read in a while....thoughtful, enriching, inspiring, though provoking, witty.

Okay. I know it's sad.

More to come....sometime.

Good night.