Concert Week

I love this time of year.

Not just because I have (in my part-time teaching schedule) only EIGHT DAYS LEFT of school.

Okay.  That might be part of it.

But I really love concert time. It's so exciting and so stressful.  So many details to plan, information to communicate...tasks to accomplish, loose ends to 'tie,' students to motivate and empower.  But the end result (especially when it exceeds your hopes and expectations) is simply magical.  Watching the excitement and focus and pride reflected in your students eyes... Meeting parents and grandparents and hearing wonderful stories about the impact of music and music education.  Feeling the adrenaline rush as the students look at you full of nervous excitement, bows poised, fingers placed...


...and then that rush of relief and exhaustion when it's all over.

Final rehearsals are happening this week, and so far, all is going well. Maybe too well, actually.  And strangely, I'm not that nervous or stressed?  Maybe I should worry about that.  I probably should.

Anyways, if you'd like to see nearly 75 second graders playing Mozart on the violin on one stage....
Or just under 50 third graders performing together on violins, violas and cellos...

...you will not want to miss this Thursday night (May 10) at the North Muskegon FLEX center.
6:00 PM Second Grade Violin Concert
7:00 PM Third Grade Strings Concert

And next week, the Fourth and Fifth Grade String Ensembles will perform some Blues, Beethoven, Irish Fiddle tunes, Dvorak melodies, music from Handel's "Royal Fireworks Music," and more.
Thursday, May 17 at 6:30 PM.

I love my job.

"Sisters..."

"...Sisters
Never were there such devoted sisters."

(Creepy make-up, I know. It was 'required' for her dance recital. She looks frighteningly like her future 16 year old self. But I love their embrace in this picture. So excited and happy.)


Right now, as I type, I'm listening up the stairs.....to Maya breathlessly singing... "two different faces, but in tight places...."

She can hardly keep her voice going for all the dancing she's doing. I hear her feet thumping around.

A minute ago, as they got their pajamas on, Maya and Sophie went back and forth (about twelve times) saying, "thirsty" (Maya) and "thuh-sty" (Sophie).

It started like this...

Sophie: (from the bathroom, probably getting a dixie cup full of water) Maya, ah you thusty?
Maya: (a bit mockingly) Thusty? Sophie, do you mean thirsty?
Sophie: Yeah, thusty. Ah you thusty, Maya?
Maya: Sophie! It's THIRSTY. Say THIRSTY.
Sophie: Thusty
Maya: Thirsty
Sophie: Thusty
Maya: THIRRRRRRR... Sophie, say Thirrrrrrrrrr
Sophie: THUUUUUUUH
Maya: THIRRRRRRR... Sophie, say Thirrrrrrrrrr
Sophie: THUUUUUUUH
Maya: (sweetly condescending) goooood, Sophie. Thirrrrrrrr...
Sophie: Thuuuuuuuuh
Maya: Thirrrrrrrrr...

...and it went on like this for quite some time. Then, the song began... "Sisters, sisters..."

I'm not making this up.

But I should go send them to bed.

In second grade violin class...

...we've been spending our first few weeks "getting to know the violin" and "getting to know the bow"...separately.

We know the parts of the violin and how to put it away in its case and how to take good care of it. We practice holding the violin in shoulder position...plucking the strings, learning their names and sounds.

We've also met the bow. We've practiced carefully removing the bow from the case, tightening and loosening the horse hair, rosining the bow. We've even practiced holding the bow correctly.

But every time I see a group of second graders in the hall or at recess they ask, "Do we get to play them together yet? Can the violin and bow meet now???"

This week, one second grader raised his hand and said thoughtfully (and innocently, I should add),

"Mrs. Corbin, even though the bow and the violin have

never even met,

they've been sleeping together all this time!"

a great conversation from long ago...

...suddenly remembered.

In the hallway, a strings student, came running up to me with a hug.

student: "Oh hi Mrs. Corbin!! I love strings class!"

me: "I do too, isn't it fun? I love that I get to be a music teacher."

student: "yes....you are pretty lucky...but what are you going to do when you grow up?"

you should read these...

amazing violin stories.

Today felt good.

It was one of those days that was filled with moments of certainty... that what I'm doing is right. That I will survive, even grow, accomplish something...amidst the blurr and chaos that I sometimes feel exhausted by.

Today, all the daily things...the mundane tasks (dressing girls, changing diapers, washing dishes, making coffee, packing lunches, pushing my teaching cart, tuning violins, taking attendance, focusing students, starting dinner, cleaning dinner, washing dishes, changing diapers, clearing clutter), ...didn't feel quite as futile as they sometimes can.

Despite finding out 1 minute before my first class started that because of a funeral, I wouldn't have a classroom or a piano for my choir and despite having a second grader leave music class with a slightly bloody, fat lip...as a result of a new 'circle game' we tried (something like duck-duck-goose), my students seemed brilliant, charming, surprising, attentive (mostly) and sweet.

Most days, at least once, I find myself grumbling inwardly (or outwardly) about the piles of laundry that get cleared...for about an hour before piling up again; about the dishes that seem so sparkling clean and neatly stacked until the next meal time; or the crumb covered, yogurt smeared floor that sometimes gets swept 3 times a day or more and still looks messy.

Sometimes the joy, the gratitude that I have for my rich life gets clouded so easily, so quickly.
But today it was inexplicably easy to just enjoy the smiles, the silly laughter, the squeals to be chased, the focused and earnest but (honestly quite awful sounding) ensemble playing in strings today, the middle schoolers who 'wrote' and performed a five part improvisational round-song, the husband who entertained us all with "YOU MUST PAY THE RENT...." over our chile dinner, and who swept the corn bread crumbs and vacuumed the living room and the steps.

No particularly obvious reason for this day of clarity, contentment, and balance. But I'll take it.

And I'll try to remember it, because...

...tomorrow will probably be different. Things do fall apart.

A 'conversation' over spanish rice.

Kindergartener: "Mrs. Corbin...."

"...my Grandpa died."

Me: (stunned, concerned) "did this just happen? I'm so sorry."

Kindergartener: "It's okay, Mrs. Corbin. I still have another one."

Another Kindergartener: "Yeah. It's okay, Mrs. Corbin. Don't worry. I got a new scooter."

Just in case I didn't tell you...

...and you are one who might want to know.

My student violin, viola, and cello recital is next Thursday, March 13th at 6:00 PM in the Rotunda at Calvary.

Maya won't be performing this time... but she does have three talented cousins who will be (Emma, Liam, and Samantha).

You are welcome to come and listen. It should be (mostly) enjoyable.

A fragmented post

One of the happiest moments of my day...



Watch more of Maya's violin lesson here.

Some other happy moments...

Arriving to work early after an eerily calm morning... without rushing. Early enough even for a rare visit to the Starbucks drive-through.

A couple of my little violinist girls were patient enough (and happened to have good enough timing) to feel some surprisingly powerful Sophia/Ian kicks while I tuned their violins.

Hearing my beginner strings class celebrate so enthusiastically as we attempted each new song in their books today.... "Pepperoni Pizza," "Hot Cross Buns," and "Au Claire de la lune."

Dinner at 6:00 with Ryan and Maya...and the sun was STILL shining. hope. spring.

Cookie dough ice cream.




For me today, life and beautiful things kept happening...but part of me felt like everything should stop. Mostly, it was a very heavy day. And I haven't really allowed myself to feel the full weight of it. It just isn't something my mind can process, but I'm aching still.

My school day ended in a circle on the floor with my fourth graders, listening to another teacher carefully explain to the class why a Grandma had come to get one of their friends earlier in the day. She came to bring her home and to tell her that her father (who had just celebrated his 41st birthday with her yesterday) suddenly, without any explanation (so far) or any warning had died this morning at work.

As Ryan and I sang and tucked our Maya into her bed tonight, I couldn't stop thinking of my little red-headed girl who won't have her daddy tuck her in tonight or ever. And who never imagined that this could be what today would bring.

I love this little girl so much. Maya adores her too. She plays with her while she waits for her violin lesson to start each week. I will miss hearing her play Boccherini's famous Minuet tomorrow. I hope she is sleeping now.

the end.

of summer, that is.

At least the summer that means, no early mornings, no lesson planning, no responsibility...
well. I guess that sort of summer never really came this year. I actually had some of the earliest mornings ever, lots of reading and studying and writing, great responsibility...no beach lounging, novel reading days for me this year.

But I feel like I should be mourning the loss of something as teachers' meetings commence tomorrow at 8:00AM.

Back to school I go...

100th post

Go ahead. You can comment with your congrats. I know you are impressed.

I taught eight violin/viola lessons today. It was my first moderately long day of working since Maya's birthday. And despite my fear that Maya would feel neglected, she actually got pretty spoiled. As each new student came to the door, their mother would snatch Maya from the previous student's Mom and hold her for the entire lesson. She got a lot of attention today. And a ridiculous amount of..."OH!! She is SO beautiful." "I think she has got to be the prettiest baby in the whole world!" "REALLY! She is GOR-geous!" Though I am in complete agreement with these claims, I did cringe a little with embarrassment... and fear that my daughter will end up being utterly vain. My mother always tried to emphasise the value of inner beauty. I could just hear her voice in my mind correcting Maya's admirers with, "But MOST of all, she is kind."

So after a long day of listening to violins and violas, showing off her delightful smile, and being held by a million sweet strangers, Maya felt a little sad. She just wanted me to hold her. And I felt the same way.

Back to work....kind of

After almost two months away from students, I got to see some of 'my kids!' It wasn't really like work though. We had a lot of fun spending our mornings together this week...making music, working hard. But I'm pretty sure they came for the swimming. Especially that one on the right that couldn't even wait until we were done taking pictures! :)

This week was the fifth annual Summer Strings Clinic. I first started the tradition while I was in high school...then I took a few years off as a college student and as a newlywed. Some of my first Strings Clinic students graduated from high school this year.
In fact, you might recognize some of these little girls...

Left to right: (back row) me--the young teacher :), Hilary Jones, Amanda Nousain, Christy VanAndel, Katie McDonald, (front row) Leanne Enck, Elaina Evans, Stephanie and Laura Kramer.
(If any of you happen to read this) Girls, I am so amazed at the beautiful, talented, and intelligent women that you have become. It is fun to watch you grow up.

My amazing friend Mandy works in a Children's ICU.

I've always told her that I could never do her job. The weight of all the sadness there would be too much for me. Children who are sick...sometimes dying. It seems so unnatural and wrong.

My job may require patience (occasionally there are *some* rough days), but I don't ever have to watch grieving parents watch their child suffer.

Schools are full of life...and hope. Mostly healthy kids, learning, playing, growing.

This morning at one of the elementary schools where I teach, I was surprised and concerned to see tears in the office. The matter-of-fact, cheerful, efficient secretary didn't greet me as usual. I thought maybe she had just received news about a family member or close friend. This afternoon, when I returned to the school, I understood.

The classroom teacher quickly tried to warn me that something really sad had happened....the kids might say something. We'd talk after class. But as I started to welcome the kids, several kindergarteners raised their hand.

"Mrs. Corbin, Alexis isn't here because she died."

It was true. My beautiful little kindergartener, died last night after complications from a heart operation.

We sang together. Silly songs about "Old King Cole" and "BINGO." They laughed and sang and played, but it was hard. Maybe not for them. They can't and probably shouldn't feel the weight of this. Not yet.

I think that must be the most awful pain that a parent could ever feel.

I still feel sick.

another week has passed...

...and we are about to leave for our dance class. Tonight we are learning a type of 'swing' dance.
Strangely, this dance class...which only occupies a little more than an hour of my week seems to be the only thing I feel like blogging about.

School is fine. Exhausting. Usually fun, rewarding. But always exhausting. Towards the end of my day, I find myself feeling less patient with the students who haven't practiced, who aren't playing it right. I just want to beg them to please play the right note or at least *a* note in tune!

I was laying on the couch, almost asleep, before my last student of the day arrived for her lesson. As I attempted to appear alert, excited, and inspiring...she got her instrument ready and said, "I practiced *a lot* this week!" I wanted to hug her. She really had practiced dilligently. A nine year old, playing Bach...in tune, with correct timing, even style. It was actually beautiful. A rare moment from this week. She's already thinking about being a violin teacher when she hits high school. Even if that's not what she does, she'll always love music.

The rain today is peaceful. We have old metal awnings over our windows that create this beautiful sound every time it rains.
Soothing.

kindergarten

On Fridays, I have three different kindergarten classes.

Today was my first Friday.

After introducing myself as "Mrs. Corbin" and singing our silly attendance song, I was carefully explaining how "good listeners" act in music class. But I was interrupted....and then again as I later introduced a new song, and again...as I introduced the students to my violin. A little boy kept standing up. As he raised his hand he would ask, "are we gonna watch a movie on that screen?"

After reminding him to wait until being called on to talk, I told him "no, we are not going to watch a movie" and that "the screen is up for singing in chapel later today."

Still, every few seconds, he would ask again, "are we going to watch a movie?" "what's that screen for?"

but my favorite moment of the day...was when after failing to get my attention, he finally blurted out very seriously and with some annoyance, "Mrs. Corndog??"

my day of golf

Fun students.
They played for two hours, entertaining generous golfers at a fundraising golf outing for "Spread the Music."

Now i'm off to another golf course... for more stringed music.
Silver & String Quartet has a wedding.

waiting

My summer days have just about vanished. Part of me feels the loss...deeply.

But my mind has been on school for a few weeks now. I'm looking forward to the routine and the productivity. I love interacting with students. They give me so much life. And purpose. I've spent too much time in solitude (unfortunately Ryan has not convinced Pratt & Whitney to give him the summers off too). Though I love being alone, at the beach, in a book store, at home, I couldn't survive like this for very long.

I haven't been bored. In fact, there are not many days that I remember just being at home. I just crave people. Soon, I'll be talking to myself. And I'm not complaining. I treasure my summer. If they decided to postpone the start of school by another month, I wouldn't protest. But now, I'm just waiting, and trying to enjoy the last moments of rest.

I'm just glad I have work that is so meaningful to look forward to. Spending my days investing in people is so fulfilling (and sometimes draining....I'm not delusional).

what i learned today while teaching

Today I watched Emily, a five year old who has not been to Kindergarten yet, slowly unlatch the case, uncover, and carefully remove a tiny (one-eighth size) violin. She smiled with pride as she told me that she could play the first two pages of music in her book. This was her second lesson. We sang with the piano and plucked on the violin several different arrangements of the notes D and A over and over again. She is so tiny. And so excited about the world. And right now, about being a real violinist. I always have this great and noble desire to empower my students, to let them know that they can do anything, be anything. But Emily doesn't need to be taught that. She totally believes it already. She doesn't mind making mistakes, starting over, trying new things. She hasn't learned to be afraid of messing up yet. When do we learn that we shouldn't sing in front of other people? (Rudd's are not included in that question--regardless of the truth, we all tend to think we have GREAT singing voices) And when do people label themselves as non-musicians, or bad artists, or not creative, or whatever?
Another student, Laura, just graduated. She's never played for anyone in her life, except for me- during her lessons. She doesn't even practice around her parents. She told me at every lesson before the recital..."Now, I probably won't show up for the recital, you know. I just can't play in front of people." Then later it was,"Well,... I promise I will come to the recital, but I probably won't play." She came. And she and I, together, stood up in front of well over one hundred people and played Shubert's Serenade (a duet). It was beautiful. Not the music,... I mean that was nice too...but the confidence and the satisfaction that she couldn't disguise on her face was beautiful. I was so proud. She isn't going to become a famous violinist, professional musician, or a music teacher. She may not ever perform on the violin in public again, but she knows that she can if she ever wanted to. I hope that she can see her own beauty, and talent. Somewhere between Kindergarten and Highschool and adulthood, most people lose that hopeful, honest, understanding of themselves. They think that mistakes, differences, uniqueness make them somehow less able, less valuable. I hope Emily doesn't lose her honest, innocent confidence. And I hope Laura regained a little of hers.

You are invited...

Emma watching her conductor
Originally uploaded by AngandRyan.

...to attend a Musical Recital featuring my students performing on violin, viola, cello, & flute.
Thursday, May 19th at 6:30 PM at Calvary Christian School.

This may sound agonizing to some, and I must admit that portions of it....probably will be.
However, if you are a relative, or simply a fan of Emma, you may enjoy some of it too.