Thursday, September 06, 2007

don't expect consistency here.

I guess I'm either entirely absent or an out-of-control-blogger.

But I've just not really been able to form coherent thoughts for a while.

At least not about anything I can openly 'converse' about here.

It seems that I'm always overwhelmed by how blessed I am...how eerily perfect my life continues to be...
...and then how full of complexity, disappointment, heaviness and sadness the world is...how painfully permanent and far-reaching the ripples of brokenness reach.

Worry is becoming a new virtue for me. I don't think it's always been such a natural gift, but lately I've been embracing it. Staying up at night trying to compose letters to people I love...people within my circle of worry, waking from bizarre dreams where I'm trying to solve the problems around me..trying to explain my action and inaction to different people...trying to bring reconciliation.

I'm considering the possibility that maybe worry isn't the answer here. It just seems to be a new and developing talent in my life.

2 comments:

Cadie Rae said...

I love all of these posts. :) You new house looks great and it is so fun to see pictures of Mandi!!!

MandieGirl said...

Angela-

I know exactly what you're saying....I can be so happy one moment, thinking about how blessed I am, and the next, I'm sobbing because I know there are people around me, people that I love, who are hurting so badly, and I wonder what makes me immune to this horror, or even worse, what terrible thing is going to happen to me and my happy family?