...are serenading my ears as Maya sleeps in the next room.
Outside my window I see massive trees, brushed with yellow, bending in the wind...orange leaves swirling around, and swarms of thrill-seeking birds hovering and diving on the powerful currents.
My pumpkin spice candle has been burning all day...and the laundry is slowly getting cleaned and put away.
This is what I imagine, when I long to just *be* at home.
Somehow the combination of unstructured unhurried time with Maya and a few hours by myself, a tiny bit of productivity, music, and a gray fall sky seems therapeutic. And for a little while, I don't feel worried about the future, disappointed with my inadequacies, or sad about the brokenness and pain that usually seem to lurk everywhere. I feel hopeful and content. Grateful.
This is what I long for while I rush through my days, moving from one responsibility to the next. This kind of peaceful alone-ness...and also the laughter of Maya when she's being tickled, her happy singing, and her 101 requests for a another "sto-to" to be read. (Goodnight Gorilla has been the favorite this week.)
This...and waking up without an alarm, talking and laughing with Ryan, feeling no urgency to get out of bed and face the day.
A few more treasured moments from our fall...