Sunday, May 01, 2005

rich harmony

"Everything has the potential to draw forth from me a fuller love and life.
Yet my desires are often fixed, caught, on illusions of fulfillment.
I ask that God, through my freedom, may orchestrate
my desires in a vibrant loving melody rich in harmony."
-taken from Sacred Space (daily prayer 5.1.05)

...not that my desires or even the objects of my desires are wrong. "Everything has the potential to draw forth... love and life," even things. But those are seldom the motivating forces in my desires--love and life. My shallow dreams and pursuits of happiness are usually more like illusions of finding some kind of selfish fulfillment outside of what is true. a counterfeit happiness.
As deeply as I KNOW within my being that I will never find real fulfillment in obtaining things, I still waste hours of my life idly dreaming and chasing after an image, fashion, a life of comfort, a better house, more recognition, more things,...
Fleeting, decaying, worthless, temporal things.
God created us to have desires, to long for something. And I know this. I know that I am created in His image, that I have been purchased with his own life, that my freedom allows me to rest IN HIM, to be complete, not lacking anything. Why do I have to struggle daily to be content? How is He so patient with me in my struggle?
He doesn't ask me to give up my things. He doesn't force me to avoid pleasure and beauty. Rather He surrounds me with true pleasure and rich beauty continually. He allows and desires that I live abundantly, fully, with joy. But not the kind of "joy" I sometimes try to use as a substitute, a quick fix--(comfort food, funny yet wounding sarcastic words, shopping, mindless entertainment). He gives real contenment generously and desires that I rest in His provision. He can use and change, redirect and fulfill my desires if I allow Him to live IN me--to ..."orchestrate my desires in a vibrant loving melody rich in harmony."

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