Sunday, May 15, 2005

One year ago, today...

bride mandy
Originally uploaded by AngandRyan. best friend, Mandy was married and became Mrs. Fisher. She is not only a beautiful bride, as you can see. She is one of the most intelligent, thoughtful, understanding, and wise people I have ever known. She is a loyal, honest, and unselfish friend, who has always understood me unlike anyone else--and loved me regardless. Even after living together through two years of college, she still claims to like me. Everyone who knows her is awed by her genuine character, wisdom, and elegance. She is an extraordinary friend, wife to Josh, older sister, daughter, and ICU nurse.
Happy anniversary Mandy & Josh, and Happy Birthday too. I love you.

Silent Tranquility

So, it's been a little while. The novelty of having my own real, active blog wore off and I'm no longer an "outoffreakingcontrol blogger" as the 'Unheard Musings' writer once described me. But, I'm still here--despite the silent tranquility as of late.
The chaos this week has just been very present in my life--the kind of chaos that is exciting and rewarding, that is. And it has been fun. Thursday, every one of my performing groups at school had a performance...Kindergarten, Elementary vocal music, K-3rd grade Strings, Intermediate Strings, 4th grade Recorder Ensemble, High School Strings, Middle School Choir, and High School Choir. It was a busy, stressful week of rehearsals, but the the extra time spent with students and the final performances were exciting and very rewarding. I was so proud of my kids. The High School Choir performed a Medley of Broadway Show Tunes (Phantom of the Opera, Hello Dolly, Godspell, Cabaret, Oklahoma, and lots more...). One of my very talented high school students choreographed the piece for the entire choir, so they performed it as a Show Choir...and made me quite proud.
Hopefully now, the rest of the school year will be pretty easy. Without the urgency of upcoming concerts (after this Thursday's recital), teaching and planning will be much more enjoyable and void of stress. And then,....summer!
After the concerts were finished, this weekend, some of my cheerleaders from last season came over for an overnight party, eating, listening to good music, playing games, and watching old 80's teenage classic movies deep into the night. And in anticipation of their coming, my house was thoroughly cleaned, laundry finished, and little projects completed. So now, while Ryan is out for a run, I'm just sitting and relaxing, enjoying some itunes in my clean, empty, peaceful house, without feeling guilty for not sorting and folding laundry, entertaining guests, cleaning, or making programs, sound/lights notes for school. I'm just at home.
Realizing, as the archway above the entrance to my dining room reads,
"The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place..." ~Maya Angelou.

Monday, May 02, 2005

You are invited...

Emma watching her conductor
Originally uploaded by AngandRyan. attend a Musical Recital featuring my students performing on violin, viola, cello, & flute.
Thursday, May 19th at 6:30 PM at Calvary Christian School.

This may sound agonizing to some, and I must admit that portions of it....probably will be.
However, if you are a relative, or simply a fan of Emma, you may enjoy some of it too.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

rich harmony

"Everything has the potential to draw forth from me a fuller love and life.
Yet my desires are often fixed, caught, on illusions of fulfillment.
I ask that God, through my freedom, may orchestrate
my desires in a vibrant loving melody rich in harmony."
-taken from Sacred Space (daily prayer 5.1.05)

...not that my desires or even the objects of my desires are wrong. "Everything has the potential to draw forth... love and life," even things. But those are seldom the motivating forces in my desires--love and life. My shallow dreams and pursuits of happiness are usually more like illusions of finding some kind of selfish fulfillment outside of what is true. a counterfeit happiness.
As deeply as I KNOW within my being that I will never find real fulfillment in obtaining things, I still waste hours of my life idly dreaming and chasing after an image, fashion, a life of comfort, a better house, more recognition, more things,...
Fleeting, decaying, worthless, temporal things.
God created us to have desires, to long for something. And I know this. I know that I am created in His image, that I have been purchased with his own life, that my freedom allows me to rest IN HIM, to be complete, not lacking anything. Why do I have to struggle daily to be content? How is He so patient with me in my struggle?
He doesn't ask me to give up my things. He doesn't force me to avoid pleasure and beauty. Rather He surrounds me with true pleasure and rich beauty continually. He allows and desires that I live abundantly, fully, with joy. But not the kind of "joy" I sometimes try to use as a substitute, a quick fix--(comfort food, funny yet wounding sarcastic words, shopping, mindless entertainment). He gives real contenment generously and desires that I rest in His provision. He can use and change, redirect and fulfill my desires if I allow Him to live IN me--to ..."orchestrate my desires in a vibrant loving melody rich in harmony."