Tuesday, August 23, 2005

as late afternoon sun flooded my living room...

...with warm yellow light,
three new friends filled my house with music.

minor chords,
hesitantly srummed.
two powerful smoky voices singing
haunting lyrics.
a viola
and cello echoing sadness
a djembe
evoking loneliness and distance

It was the music of SADE (but with an 'earth-ier', raw sound)...

"There is a woman in somalia
The sun gives her no mercy
The same sky we lay under
Burns her to the bone...

There's a force stronger than nature
Keeps her will alive
That's how she's dying
She's dying to survive
Don't know what she's made of
I would like to be that brave
She cries to the heaven above
There is a stone in my heart
She lives a life she didn't choose..."

I'm excited to play again, under stage lights, in an intimate room built for accoustics...maybe you can hear it too, when we play tegether this Saturday at the Dogwood Center.

Music has been heavy on my mind this week. Though the challenge and risk of what's ahead is exhilarating, I've also made it something stressful. Somehow I've worked myself into believing that my whole validity as a musician (even as a person) hinges upon this one audition. That if I have to face rejection, all the other opportunities I have to play will somehow disappear too. But they won't. I'll always do this. And this year isn't my last chance to ever play in a symphony.

I forgot how much I love being with other musicians.

Tonight was a perfect outlet to just play. Enjoying the process of creating...sharing something.

. . .

I just got off the phone with the principal of one of my schools...and I committed myself to another class. How am I EVER going to fit 30+ private students into my crowded week? I think I will experience great shock in a few days after my lazy summer of reading, blogging, and travel.


Dad Corbin said...

Ang, you amaze me with your busy schedule. I believe in you and know you can accomplish whatever you set your heart to.
I take it you are one of the three new emerging artists on the Dogwood's playbill for Saturday night. We'll see you there if not before.

Ang said...

I don't know about the new emerging artists. I might be one, but I think the concert has a few different singers or 'shows', so they may be the 'new emerging artists'...i'm not exactly sure how the program works. i'm just accompanying Sandra Bernard for one of her songs...but she did ask if I wanted to join them....for all their concerts. For once, I didn't give an immediate 'yes' to an exciting opportunity. i thought i should give that one some thought. but it would be fun to play with them again sometimes. i'm excited that you can come. love you,

Dad Corbin said...

Did you know that Sandi is one of my old girlfriends? Yes, we were madly in love for about two weeks long ago - she was a seventh grader and I was an older man - eighth grade.

Daniel Rudd said...

ang.. I would give 30% of the moles on my body to be there at that concert, but I fear that I may have to be in Marshall that evening...

Oh, well... I'll just catch you in the symphony.

ps. you should cut back.

Ang said...

that is crazy! have you seen her since then? how funny :)

Dad Corbin said...

Sandi used to be one of Pam's apartment mates while I was in the Army. I used to see her when I would go over there while home on leave - of course that was over thirty-five years ago. I just saw her last month. She, along with her sister, Marquita, brother, Bob, and several others sing at nursing homes and retirement centers in a group called AARP Idol. They were singing at McCauley Place. They call it community service, we would call it ministry. You should see how the people react when she walks among them and has them sing into a mic - it really does minister to some loney folks.