Monday, August 22, 2005


My friend Rachel reminded me today about the incredible Story that should always preoccupy my thoughts.
Instead, I anxiously dwell on uncontrollable future events, past mistakes, insignificant frustrations, shallow desires...

..."how much more should our every day and every thought be consumed by the agony of hurting our loving God, our Creator, of sinning day after day and laughing about it. Yet Christ does not want us to walk in this misery, he wants us to walk in irrepressible joy, as one walking forth from a prison, our jail-time paid by his death."

A song I love came to my mind...

My chains fell off,
my heart was free!
I arose, went forth
and followed Thee
Amazing Love!
How can it be
That Thou, my God
shouldst die for me?

Daniel talked this week about chains...about what it means to be truly set free. How we sometimes like to go back to our bondage even though Someone died...for us to be free. I passionately sing together with my family of believers about my freedom and my "new life," but daily I use sarcastic, thoughtless words. I make value judgements of people based on physical, intellectual, social appearances. I live in luxury, consuming, wasting, and sometimes wanting more.

So if I'm really free,...and I'm really following--like the song says, I think the journey would probably lead me to people that are hurting. I'd most likely have lots of opportunities to show love and generosity like Jesus.

I'm pretty sure that happens every day. But I'm usually thinking about my own needs, and hopes, and insecurities. And I miss it.

In my better moments, those few times when I *am* aware, I get a glimpse of that fulfilling joy of true freedom.
I hope tomorrow is filled with that kind of living.


katiesams said...

Hi Ang,
I love this. Thank you for writing exactly what I needed. His ways are mysterious and glorious, are they not?

Ang said...

thanks katie...
sorry i haven't checked my blog or posted in a little while.
and yes...they are (mysterious and glorious)